Dream becomes nightmare

As a child I used to love English.. I was so much awed by the simplicity of the language. It's quite obvious that everyone is searching for comforts.. and so was I. But I was partial in that love, as I had not considered the fact that writing would also mean expressing into 'words'. Being an introvert and abstract minded, I hardly have sound expressing words for situation and events in my life. To add to this, the gender also deprives me of free flowing speech - I realize that I lack the thought process needed to speak - write.. the logical mind is so trained to analyze, the senses are so trained to collect data and the heart is so trained to respond just fully.. that words hardly arise ! Moreover experiences by far now have been perplexing, leaving me dumb, numb and amazed. I had never imagined expressing my self would be so difficult, that taking help of the fairer sex also seems in efficacious. One more reason being lack of vocabulary and techniques of expression as well.. also the attitude of speaking brief & smart leaves me wordless. Looking at the tons of information that the mind (left brain) is overloaded with, and the colossal of option that come to the brain (right brain), it is very difficult to decide what to say !